Changes in my life and phobias

I fear ducks, having a vehicle accident, birds, having another miscarriage, flying in a plane, Austin running out into the road and so many other things. Many thats you can not control in your life but one thing I know that I am in control of is my weight. I was a cute size 9 or so when I was a Junior in HS and then I do not know what happened my Senior year. I have yo-yo'd so much since then. Before having DS I was down to a size 14 and I don't even want to reveal what size I am now. I am so tired of being fat and me being uncomfortable in my own body taking over my life! After reading This blog post from the great Blair , I decided I needed to put something in writing!! I have always wanted to have sexy pics done of my self to give to DH for his birthday or something and I even have the photographer picked out that will take them for me! But that will not happen anytime with my body looking the way it does now. I have to make a plan. I have to pray for the strength.