Saturday, November 20, 2010
Pictures from The Kings 1st Birthday Party
Ramblings to my self
First off I am looking to get any sympathy from anyone, I just feel in my heart to work through something I need to write it down so what better place to do it.
I feel like the memory of my son's 1st birthday is tainted with the the site in my mind of my mother and I "having words" while us and others were trying to clean up after the party. She said to me with a not some nice tone in her voice that there had not been a picture taken with her and the king. Fire instantly shot through me cause I remember having taking several pictures of her and him before his party even started. I looked at her and said " well lets take a picture then" I was a little irritated cause I was tired. I had put this whole thing together and made all the cakes, food and now someone wants to complain about a picture not being taken. It took a lot out of me to just walk away but I did. ( his party was at the fire station where my hubs is vol fire fighter) I walked away in to the kitchen to finish cleaning up so all of us could leave. There were several of my family members that we still there as well as her friend that had come with her. Next thing I know she walks into the kitchen after me tell me that we need to talk , I told her there was nothing to talk about. She asked the few ppl that were in the kitchen to leave so we could talk and so they did and I followed behind them. She followed me AGAIN! I am not one that like confrontation and I just did not want to deal with her. She then tells me that I dont need to talk to her the way I did and such. honestly I really dont remember what all was said between the two of us but the next thing I know the hubs is there and tells her this is not the time or place to be doing this. ( to me it was disrespectful to the king, this was his day , as well as to the other ppl that were still there) I walked outside and talked to a few family members that were outside that she had asked to leave from the kitchen.
About 15 mins later I go back into the kitchen to again finish up trying to get stuff cleaned up and she comes in there and tell me that when I want to talk like an adult then to call her. If that is how adults talk to her then I have no reason to talk to her. My friends and I dont talk to each other like how she talks to me.
Several things had bothered me before this even went down first off. I had wanted to have my wedding at the country club close to my house and she talked me into having it at the Ruritan Club down by here. I wish I had stood up to her and just had my wedding where I wanted to have it!!! Then at the wedding she was so drunk( I had a dry wedding) and she was crying her eyes out and was such an embarrassment to me! There was no need to be drunk. Anyone that knows my mom know that she is very controlling person. I had planned to just get the ballons blown up for the kings party at the local grocery store but that was not good enough for her. she would not give up about the fact that she had a small tank that she could bring with her and blow the ballons up for the party with that. I knew that that small tank would not take care of all the ballons that I had and what do you know it did not!! So now I have a bunch of ballons that have a number one of them. Then when the king was opening his presents, well me and the hubs were helping him. She stood behind me the whole time controlling the whole thing. I am well over the age of 18 and do not need my mothers help with everything. We still have not talked and it has been well over a week. I have prayed so much about this and had wondered should I call her but I dont want to talk to her, I feel like there is nothing to say. I was right. I walked away, she is the one that kept coming after me!!! UGH I have been in such a rut and it was starting to show in how I was treating the hubs. I was getting so short with him today and that is not like me. I love my mom dearly but I think she needs to work on her and heal her hurt and anger and then her and I can move on with our relationship. I pray for her everyday that the lord will work in her life and she will turn her life back over to the Lord! I know no matter what that I have the best little boy and hubs that anyone could ask for. Im looking forward to the day that when I think back to the kings birthday that I dont think about what also happened after his party!!!
I love you Mom and always will!
I feel like the memory of my son's 1st birthday is tainted with the the site in my mind of my mother and I "having words" while us and others were trying to clean up after the party. She said to me with a not some nice tone in her voice that there had not been a picture taken with her and the king. Fire instantly shot through me cause I remember having taking several pictures of her and him before his party even started. I looked at her and said " well lets take a picture then" I was a little irritated cause I was tired. I had put this whole thing together and made all the cakes, food and now someone wants to complain about a picture not being taken. It took a lot out of me to just walk away but I did. ( his party was at the fire station where my hubs is vol fire fighter) I walked away in to the kitchen to finish cleaning up so all of us could leave. There were several of my family members that we still there as well as her friend that had come with her. Next thing I know she walks into the kitchen after me tell me that we need to talk , I told her there was nothing to talk about. She asked the few ppl that were in the kitchen to leave so we could talk and so they did and I followed behind them. She followed me AGAIN! I am not one that like confrontation and I just did not want to deal with her. She then tells me that I dont need to talk to her the way I did and such. honestly I really dont remember what all was said between the two of us but the next thing I know the hubs is there and tells her this is not the time or place to be doing this. ( to me it was disrespectful to the king, this was his day , as well as to the other ppl that were still there) I walked outside and talked to a few family members that were outside that she had asked to leave from the kitchen.
About 15 mins later I go back into the kitchen to again finish up trying to get stuff cleaned up and she comes in there and tell me that when I want to talk like an adult then to call her. If that is how adults talk to her then I have no reason to talk to her. My friends and I dont talk to each other like how she talks to me.
Several things had bothered me before this even went down first off. I had wanted to have my wedding at the country club close to my house and she talked me into having it at the Ruritan Club down by here. I wish I had stood up to her and just had my wedding where I wanted to have it!!! Then at the wedding she was so drunk( I had a dry wedding) and she was crying her eyes out and was such an embarrassment to me! There was no need to be drunk. Anyone that knows my mom know that she is very controlling person. I had planned to just get the ballons blown up for the kings party at the local grocery store but that was not good enough for her. she would not give up about the fact that she had a small tank that she could bring with her and blow the ballons up for the party with that. I knew that that small tank would not take care of all the ballons that I had and what do you know it did not!! So now I have a bunch of ballons that have a number one of them. Then when the king was opening his presents, well me and the hubs were helping him. She stood behind me the whole time controlling the whole thing. I am well over the age of 18 and do not need my mothers help with everything. We still have not talked and it has been well over a week. I have prayed so much about this and had wondered should I call her but I dont want to talk to her, I feel like there is nothing to say. I was right. I walked away, she is the one that kept coming after me!!! UGH I have been in such a rut and it was starting to show in how I was treating the hubs. I was getting so short with him today and that is not like me. I love my mom dearly but I think she needs to work on her and heal her hurt and anger and then her and I can move on with our relationship. I pray for her everyday that the lord will work in her life and she will turn her life back over to the Lord! I know no matter what that I have the best little boy and hubs that anyone could ask for. Im looking forward to the day that when I think back to the kings birthday that I dont think about what also happened after his party!!!
I love you Mom and always will!
ranting and venting
First off for some reason my cute little signature that I have on here wants to act up and not go to the bottom of the page! UGH so I removed it.
I hate that the hubs gets his man panties in a wad when I get emotional! Like I am over reacting about something. Can't a woman had a moment to cry when she is hurt, scared, or just ticked off. Example: Last night was a rough night, King Henry woke up at 2am so I went out on the couch with him and at some point this am I went back in our bedroom to just get a few moments to close by eyes with out him in my arms. I put him in his crib with Happy Feet on and and he was happy as can be. About 10 mins later the hubs gets up to get him cause he is fussing and brought him into our bed. Well at this time the king thinks its time to play and for me it was time to get up. There were no light on in the bedroom and while walking out into the hall he jerked his head back and hit it on the door frame of our bedroom. I instantly start crying , the king is fussing about it and the hubs keeps saying " he is alright" . I take him in the kitchen and make him a sippy of milk and start heating up his breakfast. The hubs is starting his coffee and Im still crying. I hear him under his breath say" Geez". Like I am over reacting. I felt that it was my fault that the king hit his head. We had a rough night and I was so tired! Anyways I just want time to get over my emotions before being put in the ringer for it!
People that steal my thoughts, wants, desires, comments and such as their own! Be original people! It hurts when you have your heart set on something and then you feel like your thunder is stolen by someone that you really don't like to begin with!
Some people think they can pick up a camera and instantly start a business!PS. your work is not that great! I love taking pics as a hobby and want NOTHING to do with making it my life. I would be scared I would get burned out on it and not enjoy it anymore. Not to mention I have some great friends that are photographers and are GREAT at what they do!
DON'T bash me for not being a stay at home mom, THANK ME cause its my tax money that is paying your insurance!!!! =)
That is it for now, Vent over! =) Ya'll have a Happy Day!!!
oh yeah ONE more thing... I hate that some people thing I am just a person on the other in of the phone when you call 9-1-1. I have feelings too just like the person that is calling needing help. The FCC has mandated a new radio system for all agencies and my little town in talking of getting rid of our town 911 dispatch center and letting the County handle it. Well if that is the case, I say that there is NO NEED for town police officers too! Anyways, the thought of possible being with out a job one day is on my mind a lot too!
I hate that the hubs gets his man panties in a wad when I get emotional! Like I am over reacting about something. Can't a woman had a moment to cry when she is hurt, scared, or just ticked off. Example: Last night was a rough night, King Henry woke up at 2am so I went out on the couch with him and at some point this am I went back in our bedroom to just get a few moments to close by eyes with out him in my arms. I put him in his crib with Happy Feet on and and he was happy as can be. About 10 mins later the hubs gets up to get him cause he is fussing and brought him into our bed. Well at this time the king thinks its time to play and for me it was time to get up. There were no light on in the bedroom and while walking out into the hall he jerked his head back and hit it on the door frame of our bedroom. I instantly start crying , the king is fussing about it and the hubs keeps saying " he is alright" . I take him in the kitchen and make him a sippy of milk and start heating up his breakfast. The hubs is starting his coffee and Im still crying. I hear him under his breath say" Geez". Like I am over reacting. I felt that it was my fault that the king hit his head. We had a rough night and I was so tired! Anyways I just want time to get over my emotions before being put in the ringer for it!
People that steal my thoughts, wants, desires, comments and such as their own! Be original people! It hurts when you have your heart set on something and then you feel like your thunder is stolen by someone that you really don't like to begin with!
Some people think they can pick up a camera and instantly start a business!PS. your work is not that great! I love taking pics as a hobby and want NOTHING to do with making it my life. I would be scared I would get burned out on it and not enjoy it anymore. Not to mention I have some great friends that are photographers and are GREAT at what they do!
DON'T bash me for not being a stay at home mom, THANK ME cause its my tax money that is paying your insurance!!!! =)
That is it for now, Vent over! =) Ya'll have a Happy Day!!!
oh yeah ONE more thing... I hate that some people thing I am just a person on the other in of the phone when you call 9-1-1. I have feelings too just like the person that is calling needing help. The FCC has mandated a new radio system for all agencies and my little town in talking of getting rid of our town 911 dispatch center and letting the County handle it. Well if that is the case, I say that there is NO NEED for town police officers too! Anyways, the thought of possible being with out a job one day is on my mind a lot too!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Again, I forgot.
yeah I have gone off and done it again, I have forgotten all about my blog. I think this is the third time. Boy where has the time gone. We recently celebrated the boys first birthday and It really went off great... well til the end and we were cleaning everything up. I might go into that at another time. Im going to also try and do a blog with another letter to the boy. He has changed so much. He had his one year well baby visit yesterday. Is it still a baby visit if he is over one. Well his is my baby so, its a baby visit. Anyways the boy is 20 lbs and 30 in long. I think he is going to be tall like my dad.
I am going to try my best to be better about this now that the big party is out of the way and kinda use this blog to let go of some of my feelings. To start with, its sometimes the one that you love the most that let you down.
I am going to try my best to be better about this now that the big party is out of the way and kinda use this blog to let go of some of my feelings. To start with, its sometimes the one that you love the most that let you down.
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